Nightly News
Good evening citizens and welcome to the Nightly News.
Here is a list of the things we want you to believe today:
1. GLOBAL CALAMITY
We are on the precipice of a global calamity so extreme in magnitude that it will bring about the end of the world as we know it.
You must be afraid of this inevitable catastrophe. The only way to protect yourself from certain annihilation is to rely on the government for your safety.
This will necessarily require the restriction of some of your freedoms, but it will ultimately be a worthwhile sacrifice.
2. CLIMATE CATASTROPHE
Every time you breathe, eat, exercise, have children, fly, drive, or buy clothes, you are contributing to the accelerating destruction of the planet.
You are selfish, and should consider sitting still inside your pod until you die of starvation.
This is the only way to prevent this disaster from occurring.
These drastic measures are required in order to offset the carbon that will be emitted by the Experts who will be travelling by private jet to this year’s Climate Conference in Switzerland.
Of course there is no way to avoid these emissions, as the Experts must travel in order to save the planet.
You are just a peasant with no value to offer. You must play your part, and the only way to do this is to extinguish yourself.
3. LIFE IS BETTER THAN EVER
Life is better than ever, as confirmed by the latest Government Report on Happiness. This study has confirmed that, despite what we are all experiencing in our day to day lives, things are actually improving.
Do not believe your own eyes. Believe the Government Report on Happiness.
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And that concludes our scheduled propaganda for this evening.
Thank you for tuning in for your daily programming.
Please remember to publicly state your belief of these Approved Facts as you go about your daily lives in the coming days and weeks.
Citizens who do so will be rewarded for their intelligence and dedication by a boost in Social Credit Score.
However, if you happen to come across any citizen who does not believe these Approved Facts, they must be reported to the hotline on 555-656-578.
It is important that we know who is a threat to democracy so that they can be imprisoned.
See you at the same time tomorrow night.