MEAT

I don’t want plant-based meat.

I want meat-based meat.

But then I remember that we killed all the cows.

Because something something carbon emissions.

So I try to find something else to eat.

But now there’s not much food anywhere.

And the little food that’s left is so expensive.

Is this because we shut all the farms down?

Now that I think about it, I don’t even know if I can afford food.

Because I also have to pay reparations, and the interest rate on my mortgage just went up to 28%.

The cost of electricity keeps going up, too.

How much would it even cost to cook a steak these days?

It’s been so long since I’ve had enough money to use any of my appliances that I wouldn’t even know.

I think I vaguely remember that we used to be able to cook with gas, but I haven’t seen that for years.

Was gas cheaper than electricity?

Frustrated, I pace around my 15 minute suburb like a battery hen.

And being trapped like a battery hen reminds me that you used to be able to buy eggs.

For a moment I’m distracted from my despair as I reminisce about the joy of frying eggs in butter.

But this reprieve is short lived as I feel my wrist vibrate.

My Apple Watch tells me that I’ve burned too many calories walking around and I have to return home immediately.

If I don’t, I’ll exceed my daily carbon emissions quota and automatically be fined $9,000 Digital Dollars.

As I make my way back home, I’m conscious not to let my heart rate rise too high for fear of a fine.

I’m still hungry.

I look around the streets and realise that everyone else looks hungry, too.

This makes me wonder if our Food Allowance is sufficient.

Because I remember someone telling me once that humans actually require more calories than the Government-Approved Maximum of 1,000 calories per day.

But the Fact Checkers said that this was a conspiracy theory, so I tell myself that I must be imagining my hunger.

Then I realise that I haven’t seen the person who told me that conspiracy theory in a few months.

Where did he go?

Eventually I make it home.

My studio apartment is 3m x 3m.

It has no windows because the Government told me that exposure to Vitamin D increases the risk of dying from COVID-19.

In fact, the News says that the reason the COVID Pandemic is still raging after 15 years is due to the right wing extremists who still have windows in their homes.

These are the same people who voted against shutting down all the farms.

I know for a fact that they’re all crazy, although sometimes I do miss the sunlight.

But I know the Government just wants to keep me alive so I feel grateful.

I lie in bed and try to sleep but the hunger pains are getting worse.

I keep telling myself that I’m imagining them.

Eventually I fall asleep.

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