I STUDIED ARTS

And I think I should be in charge of reorganising the economy.

Even though I spent my last $300 on a ticket to Splendour.

And $50,000 on a degree that won’t lead to employment.

I’m still smarter than you. 

Because I know that everyone will die unless we abolish farms.

And it’s safe to say that communism will definitely work this time around.

I still mask up everytime I go to Coles.

And I think we need to respect the gender identity of rapists.

And I know that true science is knowing not to question the consensus.

I want the Government to be the arbiter of Truth.

All systems of society are set up to oppress me. We must abolish them.

Oh, except for Centrelink. I need Youth Allowance to survive.

I consider myself a male feminist. 

I think I might become a trans lesbian.

Property rights should be abolished. No, I don’t know what a chose in action is.

Indigenous people were better off before colonisation. 

I watch a lot of Netflix.

Have you tried ketamine?

Putin is the new Hitler. 

Stay at home mums are literally enslaved.

We need more immigrants.

I think real estate agents are the reason why housing is so expensive.

They should implement a 4-day work week.

"Trigger Warning"

I like craft beer.

I’ve never run a marathon.

I can’t really cook.

I started crying when I had to work an 8 hour shift.

My back hurts all the time.

And my wrists hurt when I do pushups. So I don’t really do them.

I always take the escalator.

“Do you have any vegan options?”

I still live with my parents.

Companies that make a profit are literally stealing from their customers.

I’m anti-fascist.

Lockdown was the happiest period of my life.

People who live outside Melbourne shouldn’t get a vote.

I struggle to wake up before 9am.

I always have a cold.

And no, I haven’t actually finished my Arts Degree yet. 

I’m doing it part-time.

Because I find a full-time work load way too stressful.

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